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  • Sunset shore - I can't be this lucky!!!!

    When you are the hottest girl in the trailer park you need that one go to item in your closet. This shirt is it girls! You'll have a hard time deciding with all the hot colors but I picked Raspberry cause it brings out the color in my glass eye. This girl is moving up I tell you, luck oh has there been luck since its arrival. I moved into a nice double wide last Friday with Bobby the one with 4 pink flamingos out front. He is anyones dream, ripped jeans and his tanktop (wife beater) definitely a bring home to momma kinda guy. I hit the jackpot knowing he has a full set of teeth---9 to be exact. I've never seen so many pearlies in my life! His smile gives this girl a reason to live. I love to run my fingers through his hair (mullet). Momma says a full head of hair shows he takes good care of himself.

    The other night, down at the local Walmart, Bobby punched a man in the face for being a little too fresh. I said he only wanted to pat the wolves, but Bobby thought otherwise. After the incident, he told me to get in the truck. I don't know why he needs to get so upset. Everyone is just mesmerized by it's awesomeness. It's a conversation piece. Sometimes Bobby will threaten to use my pride and joy as an oil rag, but he knows better I will just take my anger out again on his Nascar collection. It's the first time I've ever seen a man cry.

    So do yourself a favor and buy one of these great shirts, BUT DO NOT SHOW UP IN MY PARK WEARING ONE! There WILL be problems. Just saying.

  • LOLITA - BEST BINDER EVER FOR THE DISOBEDIENT AVERY

    Our esteemed presidential candidate has enlightened me so much over the benefits and the usability of the Avery binder that I felt compelled to purchase one for my husbad. I have to admit, I have been a binder outsider for most of our marriage, never making it home to cook dinner and just generally being very disobedient. I confess to even going as far as to try and control my own body without regard to what the politicians think I should be doing. For far too long I have been disregarding all their wishes and dictates, not sure why since they seem to know so much better than I do what I should or shouldn't be doing, of course as a woman I am completely lacking the qualifications that would enable me to make an informed decision.
    And to make matters worse, when my traitorous body decided of its own accord not to shut down a rape, I even went as far as to... oh how can I even say it? But yeah, I did it... with the benefit of the amazing transvaginal ultrasound that my elected official felt was necessary and required in such a case.
    I have also been known to avoid the religious settings and stuff myself with birth-control pills as any other godless, worthless female might do, so I am ready to repent.
    But I digress...
    After purchasing the binder, my husband found several suitable candidates to be added in. One committed to being home in time to cook dinner, another one committed to cooking, another one committed to taking care of the children, another committed to his needs and so on and so forth.
    I feel that our family unity has improved so much and I rather enjoy having all my sister wives tied in a binder with me, I feel we are now keeping with the teachings of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young and we are well on our way to proving our worth. The celestial marriage should seal us together for all eternity so that we may all become godesses if our HE-WHO-HOLDS-THE-BINDER will find us worthy to be called into heavens by our secret name. Thank you, thank you, i bow down to you, mighty HE-WHO-HOLDS-THE-BINDER!
    Next steps? Purchasing some "magic underwear" and trying to find one of these fancy, big and special lapel pins for hubby's suit then climbing to the 1% since the 47% has been getting rather crowded lately, there are also too many binder women in this category so I feel the stress of the competition.
    Thank you Mr. presidential candidate for making such amazing decisions for me and my family, thank you for the binder idea which has so enriched and fundamentally changed our lives!

  • David Schlueter - Quickbooks - the best return on any investment you'll get all year!

    It started slowly for me. I've had a few businesses over the years, and I started off with Quicken. While it's a great product in it's own right, I needed something more robust. Quickbooks Pro was my first purchase back in 2005. It was intuitive, easy to understand and use and didn't require the steep learning curve or accounting degree that it's competitors needed. Your books - quick. It was great!

    Over the years I've upgraded and now I've been running Premier (currently in Retail mode). Quickbooks takes the guesswork out of accounting. With its online community help, robust "how to" dialogues and videos, you really have to make up you mind to NOT pay attention to make a mistake with all the learning tools available!

    Ultimately, Quickbooks allows ME to handle my accounting needs until I NEED an accountant. Simple, effective - and inexpensive. Sure, go ahead and pay an accountant to balance your checkbooks. Or, take what you would pay the average accountant in ONE MONTH and buy Quickbooks and do the bulk of it yourself. You won't regret it.